One could argue that sharing these truths could lose me clients. I think its an important and integral message though. My ideal clients will vibe with this.
There is growing skepticism around the integrity of healthcare providers. And I get it. I share many of the same worries that profit might triumph prevention. It's hard to navigate modern healthcare. And I know that the mental health industry is no exception.
Today I want to share 5 truths about therapy with you.
While I don't believe these should be controversial truths, I do know that not everyone will like what I have to say. As with nearly anything I have to share- please consider this sprinkled with nuance and peppered with gentleness.
5 Truths About Therapy (plus a bonus)
ONE: Not Everyone Needs Therapy
The idea that anyone and everyone needs therapy is a myth. I feel more confident about this the longer I’ve been in practice.
Many people start therapy because they feel like they are supposed to, with no significant needs or goals. After genuine exploration and troubleshooting, I often turn these folks away and towards other solutions.
I’m not in the business of making problems out of thin air.
TWO: Therapy Can Have Negative Side Effects
Just like any other form of medical intervention, therapy can have adverse side effects too.
Some examples of what this can include:
therapy dependence
new symptoms
alienation / relational strain
worsening symptoms
stigmatization
suicidal ideation
(Linden and Schermuly-Haupt)
This doesn't mean therapy can't help. But it is important that clients are informed of the potential side effects, just like with any other intervention.
THREE: Our Culture Keeps Pathologizing Normal Parts of The Human Experience
We need to caution here. People believe they need treatment for “symptoms,” experiences, or feelings that are actually very typical and appropriate.
You might not need a diagnosis. Instead, you might need awareness + coping tools + distress tolerance skills, to be able to withstand the regular discomforts of life.
There’s a difference between feeling a bit depressed and having a major depressive episode. Both suck and both deserve care, but the difference matters.
FOUR: The Average Person Isn't Meant To Be In Therapy Forever
The length of treatment can vary, depending on presenting issues, therapeutic goals, frequency of meeting, etc.
You should be able to either report or assess for measurable progress.
Once treatment has concluded, periodic check-ins, as-needed appointments, or having support on retainer can be beneficial, but formal treatment has bounds.
There IS such a thing as too much personal development work. You don’t always have to be fixing yourself.
You might come in and out of therapy based upon your needs or life circumstances, but treatment isn't meant to be an open-ended, long-standing experience.
FIVE: It Might Not Be Trauma
There is a difference between trauma and adversity.
It might not be PTSD... it might be a bad memory.
You might not be triggered...your lack of distress tolerance skills might be showing again.
When we overly identify experiences as “trauma” we open up a whole new can of worms for other problems to occur. We also diminish the gravity of true trauma.
BONUS: Some Therapists Are Unwell.
When I was in grad school I became aware of a stereotype that therapists are just unhealthy people, trying to project and help others instead of helping themselves. Let me be clear- I do NOT believe that this blanket statement stereotype is accurate.
What I do want to be forthcoming about is the reality that therapist's are human, and are not immune to the ebbs and flows of life that come their way while they are treating folks.
Additionally, people become therapists for many different reasons and in many different ways.
Have you ever had a teacher who loved kids, was passionate about their work, had a good heart, but at the end of the day wasn't very good at the actual task of teaching?
Have you ever had a teacher who was the smartest person you ever met, was incredible at teaching, but you weren't so sure that they had a soul?
The same can be for therapists. Some are innately gifted. Some are incredibly passionate, but maybe not that skilled. Some are skilled, but dry.
Our training includes hours and hours of learning how to set aside our own junk, our own issues, and our own needs while attuning to yours. But like with any other skillset or industry, some folks get it and some folks don't.
Please hear me out:
My intention is not to be harsh. Anyone who has worked with me will tell you that I am compassionate, curious, accepting, and gentle.
Therapy as an industry is in un-precedented times as it relates to marketing our services. I think a lot of well-meaning people are creating confusion around mental health. I hope that I can be an honest, reasonable, informed voice in this conversation.
Integrity Matters.
I understand that sharing these truths could cost me business. But I really believe you should be aware.
I’m not in this to profit off of hardship. I don’t string talkative clients along. I actually turn plenty of potential clients away.
We have focus, intention, and evidence-based care in my office. I care very much about the integrity of this profession and the quality service that I provide.
It’s possible that I’ve persuaded you against therapy today.
I hope that you find the quality support and interventions that you need.
There are many other modalities of care that might be a better fit for you.
I also believe that much of what folks seek in therapy ought to be found within the context of friends, family, and chosen family.
Many of the results that folks are looking for can be found by pursuing other general wellness practices such as movement, time in nature, nutrition, spiritual connection, meditation/journaling, and social connection.
It’s possible that I’ve drawn you even closer to starting therapy.
If you choose to work with me, you can expect this same type of honest + gentle communication and care
I will meet you with:
bio-psycho-social education
coping skills
communication skills
awareness
insight
acceptance
respectful accountability
clear treatment planning
honesty
authentic connection
regular assessment of progress
If this kind of partnership appeals to you, and you are ready to work towards wellness, respond to this email, and we'll discuss next steps to getting started.
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